Monday, July 20, 2009

Part One: In which Valium becomes a necessary evil...



To make my case for the necessary use of Valium, please take this short quiz...

1. In the middle of the night you are woken by the sound of a thousand bombs going off, and all of the glass in your house breaking, what is your first thought?

A. The mafia is firebombing your house because your husband made a bad business deal with them?


B. George Bush (Dick Cheney) weren't lying! Sadam really did have Weapons of Mass destruction, and Spokane is under attack!


C. Why is my husband running back and forth at the end of the bed completely naked?


D. Oh! That's just the six foot wall of wire shelves levitating and dumping over? No Big Deal!


Well friends... the answers are C AND D.

Yes. It might sound strange, but our six foot wall of wire shelves mysteriously jumped off the ground and dumped about 15 pots/pans, mixing bowls, 10 small appliances, the lids of all of the pots/pans, Tupperware, kitchen supplies, measuring tools, fire extinguishers... and just about every item that could be stored in a kitchen- not only off of the unit but first hitting other side of the wall where we our heads rest when we sleep, but then onto the floor. Maybe about 150 items?? Maybe more??

We put out a description of the crime, and as you see above, we received two anonymous tips... rather damning evidence.

Now with the weight on the shelves and the unit equaling about 350 pounds, you might question how one little doggy could basically throw a unit of shelving... but I failed to mention that he can pull me over, off my feet, drag me, etc, and has been able to since he reached sixty pounds a couple of months ago. I rest my case.

2:15AM Valium wins.