Calmest weeks of my life.

After two fantastic sessions with the shrink in the beginning of April, I felt like I had turned a new corner. The results of these revelations have been a new calm with food- kind of like the most balanced thinking about how I eat (ever), and then the most moderate food choices (ever). I cannot tell you how many calories I have been eating, or that I am avoiding anything (because I am not), but I just feel fantastic.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE... I have been able to stop eating around 9pm... this is a bigfuckingdeal, by the way. It feels so good to just NOT need/want/crave/hate late night eating. I feel relieved and as if the heaviest weight of all has been lifted off my shoulders.

In the process of working on calm feelings and food, I have also been keeping aware of whether I am eating during the day, and correcting any periods of restriction by just eating. Obviously since the evening eating is leveling out, I have also been avoiding any kind of anxiety-fueled night compulsive eating either.

So I guess I just feel like I am gaining independence from food rules/restriction/compulsion. The times that I have felt started feeling guilty, and my anxiety rise, I have comforted myself through.

The start of feeling free from food insanity.