I was told I was fat way before I was fat. I was a competitive swimmer and a bit of an early bloomer, so, I learned to despise any fat because of it's ramifications on my performance in the pool. I was harped on my parents about my weight from an early age (I have explained some of this in my post on bingeing) and then tormented by other kids who I swam with. It is funny, because I was usually bordering on underweight when I was being made fun of early on. I started puberty early (I started my period at age eleven) and I grew really early (sixty-nine inches by the time I was twelve). I was taller and more muscular than any girl my age. Kids usually see a taller person and don't translate that they are taller and therefore their thighs will be bigger than a kid a head shorter. Everyone knows about how mean and unrealistic children are.
So, this is where my weight sensitivity began. I didn't really become fat until I was around sixteen but the issues I had with my weight were so out of proportion and completely cruel that there is very little surprise that I did. The tormenting continued from my peers, as did my parent's obsessive and narcissistic fixation on my weight.
I will continue to write about my experiences but I wanted to talk about believing I was fat when I wasn't.
