I am a terrible asshole in the morning. I mean it. So, yesterday morning I hear- "Danielle! Get out of bed and go look out the front window! Holy Shit!" from the kitchen. My first thought was not very nice and in fact, since it was 6:30 AM, the next few thoughts were even worse. When I heard him call to me again, my mouth opened and the following phrases came tumbling out:1. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO ME FOR?!
2. YOU CAN SHOVE THE FRONT WINDOW UP YOUR ASS!
3. I WOULD RATHER JAM A RUSTY NAIL IN MY EYE THAN GET OUT OF THIS BED!
4. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHO I AM IN THE MORNING?
5. IF I GET OUT OF THIS BED AND I LOOK OUT THE FRONT WINDOW AND THE FUCKING WORLD ISN'T ON FIRE... !
After a few minutes of terrible things pouring out of my mouth and running through my mind
I decided to get out of bed and go look out the front window. My husband is the master of obscure, mysterious statements when there is something exciting going on, so, I decided it might be worth it.
Here are the events that took place next (in chopped up, morning sentences): I got out of bed and tripped and shuffled to the front of the house wearing a flimsy t-shirt, underwear and slippers (NO BRA, NO PANTS). I focus on the window and then outside. In some kind of half-dream/ half-wake moment, I think, "Boy, you know it is going to be a weird day when there is a man dressed in black uniform running in front of our house with an assault riffle..." and then "WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE MORE THAN A DOZEN POLICE CARS OUTSIDE OF OUR HOUSE AND WHY ARE THERE POLICE MEN WITH ASSULT RIFFLES RUNNING DOWN THE STREET?" Then I realize I am standing watching this and that all of the blinds are pulled up and I am barely dressed (don't want to distract anyone shooting). I sat down in a chair, frozen in fascination, and watched the situation unfold and realize that it is next door that this is happening... There is one of our neighbors... face- down on the ground... The neighbor they pulled out of the house next door was actually a neighbor from two houses down (hmmm... that is weird, he doesn't live next door, why was he there?) and they also pulled out a teenage girl who was completely tweaked out of her mind. The poor wheelchair bound person who moved in recently did not come out and I assume is safe because there were no ambulances.
It was an exciting way to start out the day. We really enjoy the show COPS and when something similar happens out the front window... well, lets just say some verses of "BAD BOYS! BAD BOYS! WATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU?" were sung. We don't know what really happened and don't care to ask anyone (not that we didn't make up a dozen different scenarios while we were watching) because we just want to stay invisible.
Here is the wrap- up...
1. There were police with assault riffles drawn in my front yard.
2. At one point there were no less than twelve police cars in front of the house.
3. It was 6:30 am and I am almost sure that someone saw my morning (lack of) outfit when I made an entrance into our living room.
4. We tried to take pictures but the only ones we could get were from back in the dark of our house and a limited view. The first picture was taken with a flash and I am pretty sure my husband almost got us in trouble... There is nothing like a flash to set off an unusual situation when the police have their assault riffles out.
Oh, by the way, this is the second episode that we have witnessed in the last two months of police with guns drawn from our front window...
