Today is kind of poopy. I am trying to keep the fine balance between being sad, and wallowing in a pity-party. When I feel sad or frustrated-- I don't always make the best choices. Last night my husband I and convinced each other to eat tasty desert items (enablement factory) and ended up eating ice cream and cookies... after I fixed an amazing dinner that was low sodium AND fantastic AND borderline gourmet. I felt like I had wasted time making such an amazing dinner and blowing it up after with a thousand calorie ice cream and dessert bomb. Thankfully it was a single event purchase...
Anyway. I am making another fantastic, low sodium, gourmet dinner... and cooking for tomorrow in the process. Lentil stew for tomorrow, chicken sausage and grilled veggies for tonight. There are FUCKING ZERO questionable food items in the house...
I am feeling kind of crappy today! Obviously, after yesterdays post, I am having a rough time keeping my proverbial CHIN UP. I want everything to go as planned, all the time. I also have a bit of conflict between NOT making excuses, and being kind to myself. There is kind of a find line between that place... forgiveness and acceptance of self, and just being a complete excuse ridden, self enabling- you get it.
You guys have been pretty supportive of me, no matter what. I appreciate you all keeping the faith. When I don't lose weight, or fuck up... I sometimes assume that I have no right to be blogging, or that my support from all of you will leave. Now, I know that is not true, but it is a part of my self-talk that sneaks up and bites me in the ass sometimes.
I really, really, really, FUCKINGREALLY! Want to get under 300 pounds- just a little landmark that keeps eluding me... I know I can do it, and I am hoping to reach it sooner than later. Maybe by the end of April??
