As the day progressed I got grumpier, and angrier, and more foul... By 6PM I was FUCKINGBITCHFESTTASTIC! I made myself that way though. I struggled all day with myself-- whether I was going to go to the gym or not. I cannot deny the consequences of not going to the gym any longer. Although I would have been in calorie deficit mode, even if I had skipped the gym... I would not be keeping the commitment I made to myself. That is what I struggle with the most. I don't trust myself. I am not accountable to myself. I have broken almost every promise I have made to myself (that is how I got to 365 lbs). BUT I WENT TO THE GYM ANYWAY.
It made my day much better, and I came home and was able to eat my grilled mushrooms and onions, with a tasty bunch of grilled shrimp-- with no worries (not that grilled veggies and shrimp are anything to worry about). I feel pretty good about my choices, and I really feel good about my commitment level. I am at almost a week of moderate, calm, balanced eating. That is amazing for me, and I am so proud of myself! I have enjoyed some chocolate (little bit), potato chips (again a little bit), LOTS OF VEGETABLES, and nice portions of grilled meat. I have been trying to eat a whole wheat something at night to keep myself fuller. I will have to see if this works for me, and then I will go into more detail.
I am feeling good today.
