Yep. I would rather pull out my teeth than get my picture taken, or show my picture to anyone! I have never had a real before/now picture post (although I do have two pictures on my sidebar, but only before/ and at 30 pounds lost). I pick apart my picture, and destroy myself... therapeutic as it may eventually be, right now it doesn't feel very comfortable. You can see that by my grumphuck-face!!
So to make it really, really, real- I decided to post a "sideview" picture that very few people on the planet have seen. Me at 360ish.
Again... 360ish. It is one of the few torso shots in existance!!
And my marker picture at 365!!
Me today!! 288 pounds!The two pictures with the blue shirt are current (like hot of the press today), and I attempted a smile in the second one... 77ish pounds lost since the beginning of my efforts. I know there is a remarkable difference, but it is hard for me not to keep the hate alive by looking at my current pictures, and just telling myself that I am still FUCKINGOBESE!! Don't worry friends, I am working on this body image stuff... really hard. I was just telling a few other bloggers the last couple of days to not be hateful to themselves, and I am trying to work on taking my own beliefs/advice.
My body is shrinking in strange ways, although I am glad I now have a neck! Looking at these today made me realize how much my face/neck has changed. I am losing it in a different way than I gained it, but in the end it will all come off!!
P.S. In the picture on the top you can see a little bit of my artwork on the wall... just a peek!!
