Maybe we all like boring?? The husband tension has cooled off some, and things have gone back to boring. I am wrapping up the summer quarter with my last test next Tuesday, and my final on Thursday.
Don't worry. I like boring. It means that I am not fighting (currently) with the husband, my eating is hovering in moderation, my exercise is consistent, and school is going well. We are pretty poor this summer... that keeps me away from shopping, and eating out all the time (GOOD). I spend time outdoors with the dogs walking, hiking, and at the dog park-
Anyway. My sister turned eighteen yesterday. I am twenty-nine, she is just eighteen, we are from the same parents, and no other siblings. My parents were briefly divorced in the late 80's, and then got back together. By 1990 their group of friends started to consider having children in their early 40's to be fashionable, and my parents got prego with my sister. I spent the first couple of years of her life with her, but then after I quit swimming I was off to boarding school for two years, and then spent my last two years of high school at home... and then I moved out two weeks after graduation. So I think I spent about seven or eight years living in the same house... my parents (remember they are crazy) succeeded in straining our relationship, and taking some of her ability to have respect and a unbiased view of me. They expressed their fear that I would teach her how to "BE FAT" and tried to keep me from spending time alone with her.
She is off to college on Sunday... she is going to Humbolt State in Northern California. I am pretty concerned for her; she didn't crack in half living with my parents as I did, but she definitely has shown signs of what is to come for her emotionally. She has a fierce battle with anxiety on her hands, and has never learned coping skills for it. She also has some food issues- she has kept her weight fairly stable, but it has been a struggle for her. She has never had the freedom to make food choices without a running commentary on the content and potential for causing weight gain. She grew up watching me struggle with food, and I think it has kept the fear in her strong... she is a week away from starting to make her own food choices, and as many of us know as soon as the choice truly becomes ours- things go crazy.
If she gains weight my parents will give her hell. I am really concerned for her because I don't know that she won't gain, and then get into a battle with my parents. It is kind of sad for me to watch. I want to protect her from the future, but I know that she is going to have to deal with my parents implanted demons sooner or later. She has food, intimacy, and emotional shit to deal with, along with lack of self generated motivation (a huge plate full of bullshit).
I hope that my current path has shown her something positive. We have talked extensively about everything to do with food, eating issues, etc. I wanted to be as open as I could with her about how things can spiral out of control rather quickly. The main point that I have stressed is learning how to be normal, moderate, and calm about eating... something that I ran the opposite direction from as a young adult.
Phew* I went from boring to emotional in just a few paragraphs!
