I have been working on my food relationships (weight loss, food addiction, abstinence, avoiding bingeing) for twenty-four days and it is just as bad as day one. My first instinct to binge at the onset of any strong emotion is as strong as ever. I think what has changed is that I have been practicing other ways of dealing with the emotions. After twenty-four days I will say that I have a better grip on avoiding a binge but just have not gotten any release from the impulse to binge.
The cravings are still there- tonight my husband suggested that we go see a movie and I was hit with the biggest sugar craving EVER. It is obvious that I associate movies with sugar/bingeing. I was so surprised by the intensity of the craving and that it happened just at the suggestion of seeing a movie.
It is kind of like this... I have had a fucked up relationship with food for over twenty years and it is not going to change overnight, in a month or maybe even in a year- all I can do in the meantime is practice balance and sanity and have a whole lot of patience.
