The chocolate thing was moderated for a couple of months by just eating dark chocolate; I really cannot eat more than a couple of pieces and then I am on overload. I was actually satisfied with this agreement with myself. At some point (I know exactly when it happened... when I was snowed in for almost two weeks I started baking cookies out of boredom) I started having other forms of chocolate beside dark and that is when things started to get shaky. I did balance it for a while... almost two months. Last week I took a step in the wrong direction-- sugared candy... think Sweedish Fish. From there... things went to shit. Really. I was eating the same but with the addition of larger quantities of sugar I was eating a more calories a day and even substituting candy for food. I felt like shit and couldn't get out of the funk of sugar crashing and feeling blah.
I didn't even think I was smug until about ten minutes ago when I came to realize what my intention was behind posting that information. I am glad that I shared what I was doing but I am actually sorry that I did it in the way I did. I have internal conflict with the purist approach to eating and sometimes I feel a bit rebellious and want to say "See! It doesn't have to be such a battle!" Well, seven swift kicks in the ass later- I want to say that some rules can be helpful. I am not a purist at heart and cannot go to the extremes of a rigid plan but my previous commitment to only eat dark chocolate will have to be reinstated because I cannot handle anything else.
I hope you all will accept my apology that I had some SMUGGINESS behind what I posted and that as soon as I realized it I knew I needed to clear the air (mostly with myself). There should be a warning label for me somewhere:
WARNING: YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROL IF YOU ARE FEELING SMUG!
