Is never a good idea.
When I got done with my study group on Saturday afternoon I came home, and started the process of convincing (lying) myself that I could drink as much as I wanted to (denial) at the party, and that I would be okay to wake up at a decent hour today to study (more denial).
The results? I drank as much as a I wanted to, and then more after I got drunk and lost my control. I also "forgot" that I like to put down the tasty treats when I am past my limit. I also failed to remember that I have not really had a hard night of drinking since last year. This morning came early when we left at 2am (or 1pm) with the time change, and I dropped into bed with my head spinning (and after eating large quantities of salty death food, and ice cream). I slept like shit, and slept a little more later. I was sick and yucky all day, and didn't get to studying until 3pm.
So I have been a bit destructive in the last few days- in the wake of my huge therapy breakthrough that left me feeling empowered... and then something bothered me later in the week. The start of the roll downhill was with the pint of ice cream for dinner. The slip has stopped now, but I am not sure that the repercussions will not continue on for a couple of days.
I am not fretting over the food, or the general slip-up. What is bothering me is that I convinced myself into denial before I made the choices. Getting blownupdrunk is not how I need to care for myself while I am steeped in heavy learning. The brain does NOT function well after four beers, four shots, and a combination of about four large, hard alcohol themed drinks... if you know anything about alcohol you would puke if I went into details about what the specifics were of the types/flavors of what I drank. I am getting nauseous just typing it out.
If I want to reach my goals I will not repeat this kind of behavior in the future, and instead I will choose to be realistic and honest with myself before I make choices.
