One of the biggest struggles I have faced with my body image is my waist/stomach. It is an area of my body that I have experienced a lot of shame and heartache over. I guess I related femininity to having a small waist from an early age. I know my parents picked at my tendency to carry more weight in my stomach pretty early on and I think it made me extra sensitive to it. It was the first place that excess fat showed up on my body (for those of you who have not read way back in my posts, I was a nationally ranked swimmer and my weight was monitored by public weigh- ins and broadcasted) and everyone was a critic including my parents and swim coaches and even other parents of swimmers. Whatever... just a history. As I have aged and gained weight I have gotten a little insane about my torso- to the point that my skin crawls if it is touched- even my by my husband (and yes, people think it is cute to poke at my stomach or try to tickle me or grab me around the waist). I am trying to work on it little by little with him and with aide from my shrink.
The point of my post is that I have been a little frustrated (irrationally so) at how the inches are not dropping all off of my waist as I lose weight. The expectation that it will all come off of my waist is crazy but I don't always think rationally. I saw the inches come off of my back and breasts (*sigh) almost immediately but not my waist... until tonight.
I think I have lost around four or five inches off my waist and I am very pleased. !!BUT!! I want to make sure I don't get upset in the future if I don't see the amount I think that I should come off in my waist measurements. I don't want to get obsessed with things that I cannot control because I don't want to work myself into a binge with negative, irrational self talk. You know the kind... Wow, I have not lost very many inches in my waist. I am doomed to have a huge gut for the rest of my life and I will always look terrible. Everyone has done it to themselves but I am trying to do it less and eventually, not at all.
Oh, I am giving myself a pat on the back for posting a picture of my ZONE OF SHAME. I have never taken a picture of this area by itself and I have certainly never taken a picture so I could show it to others. Pat. Pat. Releasing some tension about some areas of sensitivity is a step by baby step process.
