I know it is part of the process because I have looked at what others have lost who have been successful and I always feel relieved when I see a zero weight loss weight in or even a weight gain. I feel that way because they experienced a slow down and kept going. Keeping the process going has ALWAYS been where I trip up. In the past I have found that I have lost some weight and then not seen exactly what I wanted and then freaked out (and binged until I gained it back plus more).
In the last couple of hours I have been reflecting on what held me up this week. I came up with a few things that I have to aknowlege but turn into lessons learned and not things to beat myself up about.
Problem #1- I went to Lewiston for three days and knew that my in-laws would have shitty food. We ate pizza the first night and the third night. Even though I was controlling the amount of pizza I ate- I was comparing the amount I was eating to the "old days" when I used pizza as a binge AND a meal. So, I was using the old comparison of 2/3 of an pizza consumed and eating three pieces instead. The kind of pizza we were eating was around 300-350 calories a piece and so later I reflected that I was eating more than a thousand calories for dinner while I was in Lewiston. Also there were cookies everywhere and we grazed on them and I think I ate more than I realize because I was so mindless about it.
Lesson Learned #1- When visiting the in-laws... I would like to go grocery shopping as soon as we get there. It would be me offering to cook while I was there, so the burden could be taken off the family that is taking care of my ailing father in-law. I would be able to get some alternative snacks and stock the house to substitute for cookie grazing. I could also take control of the dinner situation and no one would be upset with being relieved from cooking duties. I want to treat myself well and make sure that a healthy option is always available. Also, I need to reevaluate the pizza portion situation and limit myself to one or two pieces depending on what else is being offered at dinner.
Problem #2- I went on a new medicine recently and the last couple of days have been terrible. Yesterday (no posts, if you noticed), it all came to a head and I was in a terrible state. My blood pressure has been a terrific 100/70 since I started exercising and yesterday it was 145/95 because of the new medicine. I tracked my eating since I started the new medicine fourteen days ago and I saw that I started having some problems as soon as began taking it. It caused terrible agitation and anxiety and I think that I was compensating for it with some impulsive eating (and impulsive shopping, damn it!). It is weird because I didn't even really notice what had happened until yesterday but when I did realize I knew that I hadn't been paying attention.
Lesson #2- Pay attention to small changes in eating and impulse control issues (shopping) and try to head them off before they get to be a BIG PROBLEM. I might have looked back sooner at my journal and food entries and seen that there was something going on. Also, I have had challenges settling for sub-par medicine in the past. I need to stand up for my needs and not accept side affects and be more assertive by getting things taken care of sooner. My husband had indicated that he thought there was a problem with my medicine because he was sure I was going to kick someone's ass last week. He thought that my level of aggression had gone up and that I was not seeing it. DING! DING!
I think there are more lessons but I am feeling satisfied that these two are the big one's from last week. Paying attention to the small stuff! Being my own advocate!
