Showing posts with label gradual changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gradual changes. Show all posts

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Yesterday and Today.

This morning I woke up sore, as expected, but not as bad as I thought. The only place that seems to be in the intolerable level of soreness is my lower back and that is because I was using the short snow shovel and I had to stoop over to shovel snow. I am pretty impressed with myself in general after yesterday, not only because I shoveled snow like a mad woman... but because I am in such better shape than last year when we had snow. 

In January (2008) we had a terrible snow (over a couple of weeks) and we had to shovel and I could usually only last about an hour before I became useless. This year I did 400% of that with twice the intensity. I was blown away when I finished because I kicked so much ass for so long. I really had a progress moment, where I realized how far I had come with my conditioning. All of the hours on the elliptical have paid off. I am also a lot healthier, with more energy. It was just a big milestone for me to be able to physically contribute to something. My husband is usually the workhorse in the house and ends up doing all of the shitty, manual labor stuff (snow shoveling, pulling weeds, mowing the lawn, etc...) and now I feel like I can start to play a part in that. 

So, I guess I am feeling pretty good about my progress. I have had a good day so far and I am feeling like I might have a super- duper/extra/terrific weight loss week. I am also feeling really positive right now. SO positive that I am going to list some good things that have happened in the last day (they made ME happy and that is what counts).

1. My friend stopped by to pick me up yesterday to run some errands with her. She has a Jeep and was able to drive around in this shit. She knows I am unable to get out of my driveway and it was really thoughtful for her to take the time to help me out. I was able to get some important stuff to hold me over until the city finally plows our road (we are last on the priority list and sometimes never get plowed at all- we are near a major road and we are in a flat area= no plow or last on the list for plowing). I also got to get out of the house.

2. Costco had raspberries on sale ($3.99) and I got three large containers of them to eat and freeze. I love fresh berries and I love to freeze fresh berries because they just taste better than what you buy in the store, already frozen. I like to have them for a variety of uses... I also was able to pick up some fresh blueberries. 

3. I made an indoor exercise/chore obstacle course today so I could get some activity since I can't get to the gym. It made my day better knowing I got my heart rate up, burnt a couple of calories and did some of the tedious chores I hate doing. It worked really well, by the way. 

4. I had a conversation with my Mother that didn't include me wanting tear my hair out or bang by head against the wall. It also included a small flash of affection on her part (I am not hoping for anything more than that ever, but it was nice). Have I mentioned that my parents are insane (the type that are still in the closet- they can hide it from the casual observer but once you get behind closed doors...)?

That is kind of what is going on. I am tired of being cooped up in the house and it is too cold to be outside for more than a few minutes. I am doing what I can to tame the grazing beast. I will probably have to post again to maintain the balance. 

Anything good going on out there with anyone else?

Monday, December 8, 2008

Feeling...Peaceful?

There is nothing more foreign to me than feeling peaceful about anything having to do with my body, weight and food relationships. Yesterday and today have been weird for me, in that I am feeling more comfortable with myself than ever. I have found that I can trust myself more- not just in the health area but all aspects of life. 

I can't even really explain it. I know it has to do with my weight loss success over the past two months and I also am feeling a little more sanity in the food area. I have been making deliberate choices and weighing the consequences and rewards. I have also been celebrating other things besides weight loss, how many times I go to the gym in a week and what I am eating. 

My celebrations include a more broad range of changing myself and I am looking forward to being more than food (I know I am already more than food but to feel like I am more than food). In therapy I have been working on establishing my moral and ethical boundaries and learning to act accordingly. I have also been able to become more aware of things that I would like to change about myself besides my body/eating/weight. It is refreshing to have goals that are outside (although always loosely tied to in some way) of food behaviors and health. The shifting focus is not about ignoring my recovery but broadening my horizons of becoming a whole person. I think the more I focus singularly on food behaviors and weight loss, the more I obsess and find myself getting crazy about it. I feel empowered that I can be more than morbidly obese and recovering from food issues! 

I don't know. Did I explain it well enough? Can you relate? Do you find yourself sometimes so consumed by changing your food relationships, body and health, that you kind of forget about the rest?