For all of you who sympathized with me... IT IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE...

NO, not my bingeing! NO, NOT BIRTHDAY CAKE AND PIZZA! 

The MUTHERFUCKING SNOW! I started shoveling a while ago and had to stop because I couldn't keep  up with it. It is so bad. I am sure I will have a four hour shoveling tale tomorrow (that you may or may not care to read). 

Anyway. Enough about the white, powdery stuff (?)...

I am diligently working on my little goal (319 by January 1st). I had a bit of a problem with what I spent my calories on yesterday- I only consumed about 15% of my calories in veggies and fruit because we ran out. Now, we did have a meltdown yesterday, and I was able to get out of the house but since I lost my wallet I needed my husband to get cash out or go shopping with me and he was at work, I had to wait. I didn't eat more than I wanted to it is just that my body responds with a little more weight loss when I eat a larger percentage of my calories in veggies... I am on my way down on the scale though!

WAIT! The snow just stopped and for ten seconds the sun came out! HA! It was like a brief moment of bliss... I am going to go jump on the opportunity and do some shoveling! 

Today's Shoveling and Plans for Tonight.

So peaceful and beautiful... Want some? 

Today's activities included three hours of shoveling and cutting back snowbanks to move them and my first post- shoveling meltdown. We usually just have cold winters here with minimal snow. Last year we had a ton of snow over a couple of months and this year it came early and it just keeps coming. My meltdown was because the temperature warmed up to just above freezing which caused the snow to melt down a bit and become compact and heavier. It took all that I had to finish it and when it was done I was physically exhausted to the point of tears. My poor husband called a few minutes after I had peeled my wet, cold clothes off and crawled under a blanket- he had to listen to my delirious rant about mother nature and the unfairness of it all... 

Mother Nature (WTF?)?

My calorie estimate was between 1900 and 2100- so, that kind of makes up for it. 

It is now approaching 5:30 PM and I haven't eaten since breakfast. I was too sore, tired and dazed to eat this afternoon. I did drink about sixteen ounces of light cranberry juice to get my blood sugar and electrolytes back in balance about an hour after finishing my shoveling. I want to make sure that I don't go crazy with the grazing/snacking tonight when I do start to eat. If I have had a period where I haven't eaten in a while (more than five hours), when I do start eating again it hits a couple of triggers inside of me and I want to binge. Obviously, I am not actively bingeing in my life right now but I sometimes drag light snacking out over a period of four or five hours instead. Tonight I need to be VERY aware of what I am doing because it has been almost ten hours since I have eaten and it could trigger an avalanche. I would like to eat a decent dinner with protein and veggies and have a little snack around 10 PM. That is it. 

Anyway. I hope to write a more meaningful post in the next couple of days. The extreme physical activity drains my ability to sit and write those kinds of posts. I am trying to just get through this and post about how I am doing in the process... and of course read everyone else's adventures in weight loss land!

Proof of the Pileup.

Here I lay, dying on the snowbank in my driveway. This snowbank is just one of the monster piles of doom on our property right now. I am about 69 inches tall, so, you can see just how large it is getting. We didn't get very much snow last night and I had a rather light day today with shoveling. We only spent about an hour and a half clearing snow away from windows and chipping away at moving some of the mountains. Just wanted to show you what is going on in my life!

Weight Loss Update.

This morning I weighed in and lost two pounds from last week. I was pleased with the loss! I am pretty psyched to work on my little goal for January 1st. 

Today was a very moderate day. We ate dinner at our friends' house and I enjoyed some of what they served but I did not get the uncomfortable "holiday fullness". I also enjoyed dessert and some tasty drinks. Not a big deal. Not insane eating either. I am pretty content with how I behaved around the dinner and feel like I approached it in a relaxed and balanced way. No binge, no starving. 

I am pretty tired. I put in about two hours of shoveling yesterday and three today. We got some snow last night that caused us to have to work it even on Christmas. I am physically getting pretty exhausted from the whole situation. I am amazed at how my body is adapting to what I am asking from it. I thought after my first four-and-a-half-death-shovel that I would be done for at least a week but I have just kept going. I am satisfied that I am doing a good job substituting my lack of gym visits (can't get there because of the billion ton snow pile up) and keeping up the activity level. 

Goodnight!

The 320's are killing me!

Lingering in the 320's for the last three weeks (soon to be four) is getting to me... what is it about this stage that is tripping me up? I know I am not going to be losing tons of weight every week, all the time but I would like to get through this stage sooner than later...

So, I am making a goal to get to 319 by the new year. It would just make me feel better. Sometimes it is just about numbers... But most of the time it is about more. 

Now, I know that might be a lot to set for a goal but I have done it before and I can do it again. I also will make the disclaimer that if I don't make it, I won't let it ruin my progress. I just need a little push...

DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO POST WITHOUT MENTIONING THE MUTHERFUCKINGSNOWSHOVELINGEXTRAVAGANZA?

NO! Today, I did 1.5 hours of hellish business. When I talk about snow shoveling- I am not referring to frolicking in the snow. I am talking about moving tons of snow into large banks, cutting banks back and relocating them, pulling snow off of the roof in huge chunks and then moving it into banks and clearing our enormous driveway. Stages of Change referred to me as a Cyborg (or Cyclops) and I might have to agree. I feel pretty powerful right now. I might be fucked up from lactic acid or wondering if I have sudden onset arthritis in my hands and wrists but I have kicking some snow ass! Seriously.

I am burning a ton of calories and working some muscles besides the usual (the ones I use on the elliptical). I am also pushing myself to some new limits, without hurting myself and it is making me feel good (and pretty fucking bitter because the snow won't stop coming). 

Tomorrow's level of fun is going to increase when we clear the roof and separate garage of more than three feet of snow accumulation. It is not as simple as just pushing the snow off the roof because once that is done the white, fluffy stuff has to be moved again.  I just cannot tell you how much snow we are facing tomorrow. More snow is on the way and it is going to be the heavier kind that comes with higher temperatures (yeah, high like 25-30 degrees). There is a lot of concern for those with roofs that aren't at a sharp angle and that are older because the weight can cause them to buckle or collapse. 

My eating is going okay. I am having trouble preparing/making meals after I shovel and also having trouble focusing on good, wholesome foods. I have tapered off in my fruit and veggie consumption in the last two days. I am going to try to turn that around tomorrow. 

The food changes and weight loss never seems to become second nature. There are always changes and challenges and small adjustments that take place to keep things going in the right direction. I feel that it is pretty all-consuming right now. I am not down about it but feel like I always have to be on my toes, watching and being aware of what I am doing. Just a reflection.

Nighty Night!

Positive Thinking.

Here I am, laying on a beach in Hawaii. I am in the shade, under a tree, staring up through the leaves. The temperature is in the mid- eighties and the breeze is blowing gently. Just a few yards away the waves are crashing into the shore and it just couldn't get any more peaceful than this. 

Nice thoughts for a shitty, snowy day. I shoveled for three hours today, all by myself. My husband worked early and I had to take on the task on my own. I am happy because I burnt some serious calories but I worked so hard that I am a bit fragile this evening. My body is screaming for mercy! Mercy! I keep telling myself that it will be over soon (not) and that it won't snow forever. 

I just wanted to give a quick update. I am in lactic acid overdose mode and so I am going to go lay back down and try not to move. 

You all have been so amazing the last week. The support has been just what I needed. Thank You! Oh, I added the follower button. Someone pointed out that I didn't have it up... 

Enough Already!

CAN I JUST GET A BREAK? It started snowing again last night... AND THE SNOW SHOVELS WERE MOVING AGAIN THIS MORNING! REALLY? WE NEEDED MORE? 

I was laughing at the news this morning when they were featuring the snowstorms in the pacific northwest and were telling all of the tales of terror from Seattle and Portland. Poor Spokompton (or Spokane, if you prefer) already got hit last week and they don't even care to report on it! Yeah- we are getting that storm that Seattle got yesterday but we already have 2-3 feet of snow on the ground! 

My sore body is just getting worse. My husband let me use the big girl shovel today (I had to use the little one the other day that is for light use :( and it was NOT used lightly) and I have a new set of sore muscles. We only did about ninety minutes of shoveling today, since we had such a good start from our shoveling binge on Friday. 

I am having a rough food day. My husband went and picked up a few take and bake pizzas (thanks) and even though he got me a thin crust one (with half the calories) I still ate about a 900 calories worth of it (5 pieces/180 calories each). It tasted really good. Granted it was a lunch and dinner combo (we were shoveling during the lunch hour) and will probably not cause me any harm if I keep it as just my lunch and dinner combo- I am just frustrated because pizza kind of triggers some cravings. Large amounts of melty, tasty cheese makes me want to eat more. I am going to have to make a no pizza rule because I just can't make peace with it and moderate it. It is one of the only things I cannot chill out on. Oh, ice cream too- I just don't even bother touching the stuff because it only ends in misery. 

So, to keep the day from going to shit, I am going to vow to eat a snack of steamed broccoli later when I get hungry and keep it JUST AT STEAMED BROCCOLI. I will end my day on a good note if I can keep it there (less than 2,000 calories). 

I just had a pity party moment. I think I am going to get over it in just a few minutes. I am pretty fed up with being stuck at home. Boofuckingwhooooooooooooo! 

P.S. Just a quick promotion. A very dear friend of mine has started a blog. He has struggled with his own set of issues around weight for a long time and I am really intrigued to hear his journey in recovery and thought you might want to read along. He is still in his first week... 

Yesterday and Today.

This morning I woke up sore, as expected, but not as bad as I thought. The only place that seems to be in the intolerable level of soreness is my lower back and that is because I was using the short snow shovel and I had to stoop over to shovel snow. I am pretty impressed with myself in general after yesterday, not only because I shoveled snow like a mad woman... but because I am in such better shape than last year when we had snow. 

In January (2008) we had a terrible snow (over a couple of weeks) and we had to shovel and I could usually only last about an hour before I became useless. This year I did 400% of that with twice the intensity. I was blown away when I finished because I kicked so much ass for so long. I really had a progress moment, where I realized how far I had come with my conditioning. All of the hours on the elliptical have paid off. I am also a lot healthier, with more energy. It was just a big milestone for me to be able to physically contribute to something. My husband is usually the workhorse in the house and ends up doing all of the shitty, manual labor stuff (snow shoveling, pulling weeds, mowing the lawn, etc...) and now I feel like I can start to play a part in that. 

So, I guess I am feeling pretty good about my progress. I have had a good day so far and I am feeling like I might have a super- duper/extra/terrific weight loss week. I am also feeling really positive right now. SO positive that I am going to list some good things that have happened in the last day (they made ME happy and that is what counts).

1. My friend stopped by to pick me up yesterday to run some errands with her. She has a Jeep and was able to drive around in this shit. She knows I am unable to get out of my driveway and it was really thoughtful for her to take the time to help me out. I was able to get some important stuff to hold me over until the city finally plows our road (we are last on the priority list and sometimes never get plowed at all- we are near a major road and we are in a flat area= no plow or last on the list for plowing). I also got to get out of the house.

2. Costco had raspberries on sale ($3.99) and I got three large containers of them to eat and freeze. I love fresh berries and I love to freeze fresh berries because they just taste better than what you buy in the store, already frozen. I like to have them for a variety of uses... I also was able to pick up some fresh blueberries. 

3. I made an indoor exercise/chore obstacle course today so I could get some activity since I can't get to the gym. It made my day better knowing I got my heart rate up, burnt a couple of calories and did some of the tedious chores I hate doing. It worked really well, by the way. 

4. I had a conversation with my Mother that didn't include me wanting tear my hair out or bang by head against the wall. It also included a small flash of affection on her part (I am not hoping for anything more than that ever, but it was nice). Have I mentioned that my parents are insane (the type that are still in the closet- they can hide it from the casual observer but once you get behind closed doors...)?

That is kind of what is going on. I am tired of being cooped up in the house and it is too cold to be outside for more than a few minutes. I am doing what I can to tame the grazing beast. I will probably have to post again to maintain the balance. 

Anything good going on out there with anyone else?

Death by Snow Shovel.

I can't type very well because the blisters on my hands are so bad and my wrists are sore... but we shoveled our driveway (runs the entire length of the property, really long), which was buried under three feet of snow. I burned fucking calories galore because, well, WE SHOVELED FOR FOUR AND A HALF- HOURS. I might not get up for the next two or three days but it is finally done. I thought I was going to die. I also knew that if I did it in sections, over the next couple of days, I would not be able to continue because the soreness from it would stop me after the first day. It was not leisurely either. It was hardcore snow shoveling with a break at three hours and then even worse after. I might have just popped a blister typing so I am going to go. 

Weight Loss Update. Not.

Okay. I predicted it. It happened. I gained three pounds this week. I am not going to dwell on it because it will just cause me to eat my worry away. Hey! I am not even going to worry. I just have to re-lose it now. 

I do want to point out some of the mistakes I made this week and some of the things that happened that were out of my control...

1. I binged/overate for almost a whole day. 

2. I had to stop exercising because of the cold weather- it aggravated my allergies and then my asthma. It was like a cold mixed with bronchitis mixed with the flu. 

3. I ate more than usual because of being holed up inside the house. We also lost power and had to eat out twice and I did not eat as well as I could have (not terrible, not great).

4. I did not drink as much water as usual. I typically drink at least three (32 oz) bottles a day and sometimes four- I had a couple of times that I felt the beginning of a dehydration headache coming on... also I know I am retaining water because my rings are fitting tighter. 

So, those are my mistakes and also the things that happened that were out of  my control. They are not excuses- just the reasons the gain happened. I have received a lot of support in my life this week both in and out of the blog world and I feel like I can keep going strong. 

I am doing great today as far as eating goes. I ate my tasty raisin bran for breakfast and later a 1%/sugar-free carmel latte (made at home). About an hour ago I made another fantastic Mexican Salad and drank a bottle of water with it. I am trying to be really aware of what I eat right now... AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE PICTURE, WE GOT SOME SERIOUS SNOW. Just in the last twenty-four hours we got twenty-six inches of snow AND that is on top of what we already had. 

We are unable to leave the house and have just been hanging out waiting for life to begin again. It is hard for me not to graze all day, since I am stuck in the house, bored, blah. I did clean like crazy this morning to alleviate some of the closed in feelings I was having. I am trying my hardest to be aware of what I am doing and keep in the present. One of my biggest challenges around food is not being present in my food actions... you know, just stopping in the kitchen and picking up something to eat without even planning it. 

Anyway. Holding strong. Not dwelling on the weight gain. Going to get it back together this week and make some progress in the right direction... I hope you all do too!